Kim-----> Ah Lim at UHWC

Today, Ah Lim went to NUS to do his medical screening. He was feeling excited and was determined to ace his medical screening and passed it with a clean bill of health, i.e.: fit to marry and contribute to the population of Singapore. He reached UHWC at 9:30am and went to register himself and make the payment at the counter. After waiting for 15mins, he went for his first test, which is height and weight measurement. Ah Lim was asked to stand against a wall and a clinic assistant was tip-toeing and struggling to place the ruler on his head to take his height because Ah Lim is 180cm while the assistant is only 170cm….however unknown to him, Ah Lim has worn a 12cm platform shoes to make himself taller… hahaha….Ah Lim was watching the tip-toeing assistant with gleeful mischief…next up was the weight measurement….When Ah Lim stood on the weighing machine, he weighs in at a whooping 85kg…“what the fuck..I’m only 65kg only loh…” Ah Lim muttered but unknown to Ah Lim, the platform shoes contain 20kg of solid lead…and hence Ah Lim was proclaimed to be overweight…

Next Ah Lim went for his urine test…the doctor gave him a small container and asked him to fill it up…Ah Lim was so happy because he had been wanting to pee for the past 2 hours liao. He grabbed the container, went to the toilet, and filled it up…Thinking that more is good, he filled it to the brim and then proceeded to walk to the examination room, with the liquid inside swooshing to and fro inside the container but never spilling out…When he reached the room, the lab assistant was surprised to find Ah Lim gingerly balancing a container full of urine. When she was just about to take over that container, Ah Lim tripped and the whole container of golden liquid emptied on the assistant’s face…. ARGH!!!! The assistant was hysterical…however she could not wiped her face yet because Ah Lim can’t pee anymore liao and the poor assistant has to take samples of urine from her face and do the lab testing….haiz….really pitied her…. Ah Lim was so embarrassed with himself that he lowered his head and dashed to the consultation room to see the doctor….but he entered the wrong room and saw a female patient inside just about to remove her upper clothing… AH!!!!!!.....Ah Lim was slapped on the face and chased out of the room into the one beside it….

“Good morning, Ah Lim. Have a seat” Dr Tan greeted Ah Lim. The doctor then asked a few questions to calm down the flustered Ah Lim…

Dr Tan: “ Wah, Ah Lim you have very dry skin hor…hmmm…better don’t expose yourself too much to the sun, otherwise will have wrinkles and aged very fast one…see this photograph…the before and after photograph…so much difference.”

Ah Lim: “Expose to sun? hmm….I where got expose myself to the sun…the most exposure I ever did was when I forgot to zip up my pants and walked along orchard road for the whole afternoon” Ah Lim thought to himself but of course he never say it out, instead he said “ Ok, doc, no problem…”

Next, Dr Tan noticed something and asked Ah Lim to lift up his foot sole for him to see…Dr Tan held up Ah Lim’s feet much to the surprise of Ah Lim, because up till now, no one has dared to touch his feet other than himself…

Dr Tan: “Ah Lim, I noticed some bubbles on your soles, maybe there are fungus growing inside those bubbles…you come back after matriculation so that I can checked again because it may be a new species of fungus growing inside those bubbles…in the meantime take good care of those fungus, oh sorry, I mean take good care of your feet…ok?”

Ah Lim: “Ok”

Dr Tan then asked Ah Lim to lie down on the bed so that he could check for any gastro-intestinal problems. He asked Ah Lim to unbuckle his pants A Little Bit and lift up his shirt. However Ah Lim hears wrongly and he unbuckled, unzipped and flicked out his manhood for the doctor to see… ARGHH!!!! The disgusted doctor was caught off guard by the les than impressive dangling manhood and he opened the door and dashed out of the room and poor Ah Lim naked lower half kanna exposed to the people outside who burst out laughing… Poor Ah Lim, he was so embarrassed and sad that he ran out of UHWC, board the bus and went home, sobbing all the way….

Note from the editor: Readers who are wondering if this actually happened should have their brain scanned for any defects… oh by the way, the editor wished to clarify that only the things highlighted in red is true.


Question of the day: Are You AUTISTIC? (one of the fav. questions among the guys)

Song of the day: Kopia av Bach - Brandenburg Concerto No 3