Computer Games ~ Time Usage

I vowed to cut down on cut down on Computer Games. Time and again my senses failed me. I feel addicted. Just a few hours ago, I played a strategy game for 2 hrs. I was on the losing end. In a moment of disappointment, I just left the game in an instant. Only to realise that I just wasted 2 hrs of my life doing nothing productive.

I had been playing many computer games since Pr 6. Playing games of virtual reality has been a great entertainment in my life. I gain satisfaction winning/completing rounds after rounds of games.

It was until the time I was ~20 then I feel the disasterous and irreversible effect of playing so much games. Time lost could never be recovered, and time could have been better spent. Throughout the 2 yrs in JC, I probably spent the greatest amount of time on computer games ever. The effect was an indecent 'A' Levels result compared to 'O' Levels. During the earlier part of NS, most of the weekend times were spent on computer games, less the times I went out. I even rejected outings to play games at times. I feel so ashame of this.

Sometime last year, a strange feeling overwhelmed me. I can feel a force from within. A force of restrainment and withdrawal. Suddenly, my world changed. A shadow loams, and darkness raged my mind. A weird sense of rejection held me back from touching computer games, while the desire within urged me to play on. For a period of time, I could feel the distress and conflict in myself. State of my mind was pretty unstable occassionally, when emptiness sets in and I pondered over to play, or not to play.

The light guided my path. At that period of time few games came out that were tempting enough for me to try. Meanwhile, my computer sort of crashed, and I had to reformat. I formatted with pirated Win XP pro, causing minor problems to my com here and there. Net still works well, but games were in a mess. Some cannot play, some cannot even install. I can play few games, so more time was spent online instead whenever the com was on.

That was also a time when I felt bleakness in my mind, after 1+ unproductive years in he army. I started to read up some books and wrote a little of my life in my free times. The lost of knowledge and degraded memory was obvious. Yet I gained wisdom thru such activities. Besides studying the universe of knowledge, I too started to travel alot, around S'pore and even to M'sia. I learned trmendous thru these journeys. Currently studying Berhasa Melayu and Cantonese. Hope to step across more lands in the near future. And best of all, I could feel a release of graspe from games.

For the past few months, I seldom touch the few games left in my com, and hope to cut the time spent even more. The only times I would really want to play games is to join friends at LAN shops once/twice a week to challenge each other on games. Not only is that more entertaining, its more interactive. Currently quite keen on DOTA. Some times still play a bit CS.

Friends, if you all are ON about playing LAN, do jio me along. I might be the free frag or the slayer.

Lastly, a gentle reminder: Please exercise control over ourselves. Over working/eating/sex are painful. Needless to say other less important aspect of life.