Kim on Love Tactics 1,2,3 ( A V-day Special)

Heylo guys, Kim’s weekly column is here again. For those readers who are waiting anxiously for their weekly diet of Kimilogy, sorry to keep you all waiting for so long…. For the past week, Kim is celebrating CNY and is also using the opportunity to take a long overdue rest to recharge his batteries… haha…so here I am again, fully recharged and properly rested…. Ok, today being Valentine’s Day, I shall talk about something regarding love which I’m sure many of the 4e bachelors (me included) will want to know more about, esp after reading lhh post about all the eligible bachelors out there. So guys, do not worry because Kim has hear your pleas and answer your prayers. KIM THE LOVE GURU shall enlighten and hopefully sought to break the curse of 4e…HAHA!!!

Before I go on to the main topic, let us discuss about what is Valentine’s Day. Below is THE GURU’s definition: Valentine’s Day is a day where firstly new relationships are made and old relationships are broken, secondly, where loving couples get together and exchange expensive gifts among themselves, and finally perhaps the most important part is being guys blowing a huge hole in their pockets and their female counterparts getting laid in the end (sorry 4 female readers out there, but tts the cold hard truth. Hope you wun be offended). And folks, that is the whole essence of Valentine’s Day and whether you like it or not, this is the truth and nothing but the truth so for god sake lovers out there just accept it and dun try to make me believe that today is a god damn romantic day where in actual fact, if you are truly in love, everyday shld be a Valentine Day to you….make sense?

Ok, now to the main crust of the whole thing… the tactics that you shld employed if you wan to hitch a girl or find a female companion to spend the rest of your lives with… I stress that the tactics listed below are not exhaustive nor are they 100% gurateened to get you a girl, but if you follow and employ the tactics accordingly and smartly, there are a 99.99% chance of you finding your special someone in the next 5 years…

TACTICS 1: Be the girl best male fren

Ok basically, this tactic is for anyone chasing someone who is already attached liao… it requires u to become the girl best male fren and you must make yourself so important and indispensable such that you only rank behind her boyfriend and her father… so now the question is “ Yah so?” I believe that those who has been in the playing field long enough will not need me to explain further, but for the green horns, read on… After you have broken into that exclusive circle of male companions, the next best thing you can do is to be her soul mate, her buddy, her special shoulders to cry on whenever she quarreled with her boyfriend….Do not expect her to be yours after one such occasion, a relationship got its ups and downs, so most probably, she will patch up and break up many times over the course of the whole relationship until the whole thing is over….When this happens, grab the chance and her with both hands and both legs and be her next special someone…A word of caution though, this tactic is only suitable for guys who dun mind being the second, third, fourth or even fifth bf of tt girl…

TACTICS 2: Have a War Chest

In the real world today, do not expect girls to be happy eating out with you at hot sweaty food courts all the time w/o the occasional dining in at a decent restraturant or to feel romantic just by u looking at her and she looking at you without doing anything else or not going to the movies but instead rent cheap VCDs to watch at home… what I’m saying here is that there is no need for u to spend millions on her but pls provide for basic stuff. Dun expect anything if you cant even bring her for a romantic candlelight dinner or a present for her bthdae…. In order to have all these, you will need money and the more you got, the more things or “stunts” you can do to please the girl… A word of caution: Money cant buy love so dun bother spending your money on improbable targets…

TACTICS 3: True Love

This is the last and the most important tactic among the three… For the above two tactics to work or any other tactics to work, you must truly love the girl, whole heartedly, and w/o complaint… you will love her for her beauty and her flaws and gave her unconditional love whenever you are together with her…. You will think of her all the time, when u eat you think of her, when you play you think of her, when you walk along orchard rd, she is the most beautiful in your eyes, and finally when you slp, you also dream of her….ok a bit extreme…but the meaning I trying to get across is total and committed love to your special someone… If you are not, then dun bother using the above two tactics because at the end of the day, your bachelor membership will still be there…

Haha…so there you are… the 3 tactics that are dished out by KIM, THE LOVE GURU himself… hope it is useful to bachelors out there who are reading this on this Valentine Day. To end off, below is a poem dedicated to all lovers out there and to a special someone whom I hope will read and understand the poem….

Love's Philosophy

The fountains mingle with the river
And the rivers with the ocean,
The winds of heaven mix for ever
With a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single,
All things by a law divine
In one another's being mingle—
Why not I with thine?

See the mountains kiss high heaven,
And the waves clasp one another;
No sister-flower would be forgiven
If it disdain'd its brother;
And the sunlight clasps the earth,
And the moonbeams kiss the sea—
What are all these kissings worth,
If thou kiss not me?


Current Song: Love Song for No One by John Mayer

Current Mood: Thinking of Someone