ZLR> Getting Married part 1

Hello everybody. "Getting married" is becoming the hip topic of the season. Yet neither Swee Kim nor me, or anyone else participating in this blog is getting married for the time being. [well, who knows... maybe one of you there is registered at the ROM already]

Like Swee Kim, I'll also be attending a wedding dinner this week. Mine will be held later today, 10/10/2005, Tuesday. I've not attended any wedding for ~9 yrs. Worse of all, I've attended ~6 wakes in these years. How sway is that. [The following are rather personal stuffs. I'm sure my family will not want me to disclose any of such info but since they dun use this blog, I dun mind saying a bit.]

The couple getting married is my cousin, and his girlfriend for ~1yr.

This wedding came at an instant and with a shock. It was planned in less than 2 months so I suppose its classified as a shotgun marriage. When there's a shotgun marraige, people around, like my mum and aunties will give negetive comments. I kinda agree with them, as the truth more or less lay forth b4 me. In my hearts, I ask:"When can I see the baby... 6 months time??? How did this happened... was it being too carried away by impulse or simply a failed contraceptive??? Starting a family at 23, with a $2000+/mth salary, can he bear the financial burdun???"

Speaking of financial burdun, marraige is an extremely costly event, even if you want it simple. B4 my cousin registered with the ROM, a number of monetary problems already sparked off. Firstly my uncle refused to support his my cousin's marraige with a single cent, for he simply feels too ashamed of his son. Then the couple can't even afford to rent a simple wedding gown, and my elderly grandparents have to fork $2000 for them. At 1st my aunt booked a community hall for the wedding function, with a buffet lunch. For some reasons like outsider's comments and gossip blah blah, she changed to booking 20 tables in a restaurant. Nothing really grand was planned, but my cousin still have to borrow $10000 from his elder brother to book the dinner. What a terrible start for a young couple, luckily most family members are still willing to help.

Money was a relatively simple issue to handle, as compared to recognition and respect of decision. As this is a shotgun marraige, the couple are often looked upon at a different light. Wedding should be a joyous occasion, but somehow or rather internal politics often get involved. I know my grandparents are not attending the dinner, for a stupid reason that they dun want to get involved with the family of the in-laws. One of my aunt also did the same thing. This is really giving pple a very negetive impression, whereby the eldest in the family dun even seem to recognise the in-law. For the sake of well wishes for the couple, whats so wrong with interacting with the family of the in-laws...

Some of the older generation of people are really superstitious pple. Chinese cultures and traditions can follow but some parts are irrelevant in today's society. I'm especially unhappy with the fact that initially I can't attend the wedding, simply because of superstition believes. According to my grandparents, and the medium/calander... that day was inauspicious for pple born in year of rats, a clash in chinese horoscope characters I think. Hence, pple like me, born in yr of rats are not allowed to attend the wedding... Haiz [Luckily after some time they say I can go for the dinner, probably considering the fact that >10% of the family members was born in year of rats.]

Well, at least I'll be able to congratulate my cousin at the dinners this evening. For now I'll end this entry. A continuation will be written below this line, when I return from the dinner.

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