new phone

bought a new phone on tues.. the D500C.
so now i am poor.
anyway... i was very sian at work so i tried out the camera...
and took a picture from my seat in the office.
anyway... i just tried to put in into this post using the picture icon at the right corner when u type this thing..
Oh it works...
i don't really mean to sound so 山龟...

anyway, from the picture. u will realise that my seat is in this corner of the office that is near to the door. And there are partitions... ( see the blue blue panels?) and my colleague who will block anyone who wants to reach me. ( he went toilet so cannot see him slacking)

WAH!
so...
i can be late. (must open the door silently and disappear into the safety zone before my boss see me, then immediately pretend to be busy)
i can sleep
i can play game
i can read comics
i can msn
i can surf net
i can access other ple's pc and watch anime
i can do anything i wan

wat a great job.
they are currently looking for 2 perm and 1 temp staff

oh... the superstar show start lo...

Kim---> Ah Lim on a Sunday Afternoon

Hi…Ah Lim is at home now slacking away on this lazy Sunday afternoon and reading the newspaper when some articles struck a chord with Ah Lim after he has read them. One of them is titled “Do you use it in the loo? A surprising number of Singaporeans do.” Of course you must be thinking of toilet paper rite? But hey, don’t be stupid ok, why would a national newspaper do a survey on whether Singaporeans use toilet paper after a trip to the loo… however Ah Lim has heard from his yalam friends that there are people who are using their hands to clean up rather than the toilet paper. This is quite surprising because toilet paper is highly affordable and in the event that one can’t afford it, there are always alternatives like leaves on the tree which is free…so stop using hands ok? Anyway, the “it” refers to handphones. A general summary of the article is that Singaporeans are so addicted to their handphones that they are carrying it 24/7 a day and using it everywhere, even the loos. In fact Ah Lim was once addicted to his phone, even though it was a long time ago, when handphones are still called da4 ge1 da4. Here is what happened during one of the many conversations Ah Lim had in the loo.

Ah Lim: eh Ah Kiong, can hear me? I buy new phone leh…how is the reception? good anot?

Ah Kiong: I making cake lah, don’t disturb?

Ah Lim: wah really ah, I also leh…what cake you making? I making black forest cake

Ah Kiong: oh mine is cheese cake coated with a delicious layer of MacDonald’s famous curry sauce….

Ah Lim: wah power leh…eh anyway where you buy your handphone one huh…

Ah kiong: y?

Ah Lim: oh I think your handphone quite power leh…got smell transmitter, I can smell your cake over the phone leh.

Ah Kiong: KNN!!! You idiot lah… I two cubicles next to you lah…

Ah Lim: …….

Above is one of the many happy conversations Ah Lim had during his loo trip, however all these come to an end when Ah Lim dropped his mobile phone inside the toilet and short circuit it. Having spent 3k on the phone, Ah Lim had to fish it out but unable to use it anymore, he sold it to a friend who repaired it and used it, oblivious to the stench. Ah Lim bluffed his friend that new phone is lidat, got the new leather smell like wallet and that the smell will disappear after a few days… Ah Lim go on to explain that surrounding air molecules will attach themselves to the leather(Ah Lim’s shit) molecules and diffuse into the surrounding environment, after which it will stayed in the air until the combined air molecules are breathed in by other people into their lungs, got absorbed into the bloodstream and viola!!! The leather (Ah Lim’s shit) molecules will stayed in your body and helped to make you healthier….hmm…..wonder how much molecules I had breathed in already?

Note from editor: Stayed tuned for the next issue of Ah Lim’s Coffee Talk where Ah Lim will talked about how Ah Lim got his name…

Question of the day: If you are asked to lie down on a platform of sharp nails, which side of the body will you use? The front side where your face, stomach, heart and reproductive organs are or your back where the nervous system, the spinal cord and your ass are?

Song of the day: The Final Countdown

Kim-----> Ah Lim at UHWC

Today, Ah Lim went to NUS to do his medical screening. He was feeling excited and was determined to ace his medical screening and passed it with a clean bill of health, i.e.: fit to marry and contribute to the population of Singapore. He reached UHWC at 9:30am and went to register himself and make the payment at the counter. After waiting for 15mins, he went for his first test, which is height and weight measurement. Ah Lim was asked to stand against a wall and a clinic assistant was tip-toeing and struggling to place the ruler on his head to take his height because Ah Lim is 180cm while the assistant is only 170cm….however unknown to him, Ah Lim has worn a 12cm platform shoes to make himself taller… hahaha….Ah Lim was watching the tip-toeing assistant with gleeful mischief…next up was the weight measurement….When Ah Lim stood on the weighing machine, he weighs in at a whooping 85kg…“what the fuck..I’m only 65kg only loh…” Ah Lim muttered but unknown to Ah Lim, the platform shoes contain 20kg of solid lead…and hence Ah Lim was proclaimed to be overweight…

Next Ah Lim went for his urine test…the doctor gave him a small container and asked him to fill it up…Ah Lim was so happy because he had been wanting to pee for the past 2 hours liao. He grabbed the container, went to the toilet, and filled it up…Thinking that more is good, he filled it to the brim and then proceeded to walk to the examination room, with the liquid inside swooshing to and fro inside the container but never spilling out…When he reached the room, the lab assistant was surprised to find Ah Lim gingerly balancing a container full of urine. When she was just about to take over that container, Ah Lim tripped and the whole container of golden liquid emptied on the assistant’s face…. ARGH!!!! The assistant was hysterical…however she could not wiped her face yet because Ah Lim can’t pee anymore liao and the poor assistant has to take samples of urine from her face and do the lab testing….haiz….really pitied her…. Ah Lim was so embarrassed with himself that he lowered his head and dashed to the consultation room to see the doctor….but he entered the wrong room and saw a female patient inside just about to remove her upper clothing… AH!!!!!!.....Ah Lim was slapped on the face and chased out of the room into the one beside it….

“Good morning, Ah Lim. Have a seat” Dr Tan greeted Ah Lim. The doctor then asked a few questions to calm down the flustered Ah Lim…

Dr Tan: “ Wah, Ah Lim you have very dry skin hor…hmmm…better don’t expose yourself too much to the sun, otherwise will have wrinkles and aged very fast one…see this photograph…the before and after photograph…so much difference.”

Ah Lim: “Expose to sun? hmm….I where got expose myself to the sun…the most exposure I ever did was when I forgot to zip up my pants and walked along orchard road for the whole afternoon” Ah Lim thought to himself but of course he never say it out, instead he said “ Ok, doc, no problem…”

Next, Dr Tan noticed something and asked Ah Lim to lift up his foot sole for him to see…Dr Tan held up Ah Lim’s feet much to the surprise of Ah Lim, because up till now, no one has dared to touch his feet other than himself…

Dr Tan: “Ah Lim, I noticed some bubbles on your soles, maybe there are fungus growing inside those bubbles…you come back after matriculation so that I can checked again because it may be a new species of fungus growing inside those bubbles…in the meantime take good care of those fungus, oh sorry, I mean take good care of your feet…ok?”

Ah Lim: “Ok”

Dr Tan then asked Ah Lim to lie down on the bed so that he could check for any gastro-intestinal problems. He asked Ah Lim to unbuckle his pants A Little Bit and lift up his shirt. However Ah Lim hears wrongly and he unbuckled, unzipped and flicked out his manhood for the doctor to see… ARGHH!!!! The disgusted doctor was caught off guard by the les than impressive dangling manhood and he opened the door and dashed out of the room and poor Ah Lim naked lower half kanna exposed to the people outside who burst out laughing… Poor Ah Lim, he was so embarrassed and sad that he ran out of UHWC, board the bus and went home, sobbing all the way….

Note from the editor: Readers who are wondering if this actually happened should have their brain scanned for any defects… oh by the way, the editor wished to clarify that only the things highlighted in red is true.


Question of the day: Are You AUTISTIC? (one of the fav. questions among the guys)

Song of the day: Kopia av Bach - Brandenburg Concerto No 3

Shamed Scarlet Ferrari

As u all may not know, I am an avid F1 fan... But yesterday's race is the most fraud grand prix that I will ever see...

FYI, For those who don't watch F1, there are 2 main tyre manufacturers providing racing tyres: Michellin & Bridgestone... Michellin supply tyres for 7 of the 10 teams, namely Toyota, Mercedes & Renault; while Bridgestone provides for Ferrari & 2 other back marker team....

In this US Grand Prix, it's discovered that the Michellin tyre may not withstand the immense pace throughout the entire race.... To minimise accident chances cuz they will be running at top speed of 340kph, Michellin suggested 2 solutions:

1. To abandon the race......

2. To introduce a temp, precautionary slow speed corner to curb the progressive build up speed peaking at 300+ kph...

9 out of the 10 teams agreed on imposing slow speed corner... 1 idiot disagrees... That's F Ferrari....

So... left with no choice, all the 7 Michellin running team retire from the race without even racing...

In the end, the race starts and end with 6 cars.... No prize for guessing who's the winner... All I can say is that Ferrari's diplomacy will be at all time low...

I don't normally despise Ferrari, though I support Renault... But it's after this drama that I condemn Ferrari...

Totally incensed by the fact that I woke up at 2am to watch a ridiculous race with juz 6 out of the 20 cars running.... Felt sorry for those people who paid US$150 for entrance...

Guys, let's guess what is this thing for!!!!

EEEe..... Today is Father's Day. So my family went to 掃墓 in the evening then went to the JP crystal jade to eat. Saw my Sec 2 form teacher, 黄秋莺老师, eating there also. Damn scary lor.... I dun like her cos i think she dun like me!!! HAHA lame....

Oh one more thing was that recently got the news that one of my OCS mate passed away cos of leukaemia on 11/06. he was so young only. Quite a sad news.... It's always bad to hear people you know passing away....

ok, yesterday night went out to city hall there as OSK wanna buy a pair of shoe and seow wanted to take his trousers from one of the shop in Suntec. Anyway in Suntec we saw tingting and she was working in Guardian. Hey, yaohui, same industry as you man!!!!

As the night was still young, decided to get a drink at some place. Rejected the idea of going some pubs as i dun like the 2nd hand smoke and so on. Dun feel like listening to music either, so wanted to go some cafe for tea/coffee.

The cafe att he city-link mall there was full-house, the queue quite long, then sian half!!!! So change plan, wanna go Esplanade there to get some Chocolate drink. But again, full house..... haiz....

真衰命!!!

Then in the end settle for The V TeaHouse also in Esplanade there.

then we ordered this Marsala Chai Tea.

c'mon guys, see Zhixiang is so shuai and so classy!!! GUYS!!! WE ARE DRINKING TEA MAN!!!!



To be, I like the ginger and the cardamont. But zhixiang said that the cloves and the nutmeg brought the the original taste of the tea even more!!! As for OSK, he said he preferred coffee, so he ordered some affogato or wateva shit.

So guys, listen to me man!!! Here is your chance to be as high class as us though you didn't join us at our tea session. You can squuezed your fat ass in to our high class echelon by answering this question correctly!!! Just post your answer at the comments there can liao!!!

Take a look at this pic!!!




Guess what is this thing for!!! FYI, we figured it out what this funy thing is ourselves lor!!!

The answer will be posted in a few days time!!!

Hi pple... It's 18 Jun today and many of you haven't tell me whether u are coming for my bday celeb or not.. =(

The other day Liren was asking me what I want for my bday.. I guess the guys (assuming that you all are coming) don't know what I like.. So.. You can can buy this for me!! Think the price is cheaper here than at kino~ Not too sure though.. =P

http://page.auctions.shopping.yahoo.com/sg/auction/90105795

Anyway pls confirm your attendance asap, preferably by next wed k? Thanks! =D

Parents, dun bring your STUPID kids out!!!!

Recently been staying at home the whole day, watching the Korean drama <<大長今>> from morning till night, more than 10+ hours a day. So didn't do any other things besides watching the dvds. Finally finished watching the whole series of 70 episodes yesterday. Those with SCV channel 55 must watch this man, it's showing in July if i'm not wrong!! damn good show.

And ya, for the guys, dun think the Confederation Cup is a very lousy and sub-standard tournament. Actually the matches are quite competitive and can see the skills of Ronaldhino leh, surely must watch right???

Anyway let's start on today's topic. Before I begin, actually i like little kids, but only those cute one la!!! super dulan those fat and ugly and keep yelling and jumping around in the train and still think they very cute. TO HELL YOU GO!!!!!

a few days back, me and seow was taking train home at around 2130. At Raffles Place, 2 women, a teenage girl, 2 boys around 10yo and a girl a couple of years younger board the train. As Raffles Place is an interchange, quite a lot of people alighted and there were a few empty seats available. Then the 2 little boys dashed to the seats and started to behave like F**KING cookoo bird. They shouted at the top of their voice:

"有位子, 有位子!!!! LADIES FIRST LADIES FIRST LADIES FIRST!!!"

Keep shouting and shouting non-stop, really fucking irritating. Keep asking their 表姐 who is the teenage girl to take up the seat!!! Wanted to go and slap them already, but then their 表姐 came and get seated, saw that she was actually quite chio, then decided 算了...

Anyway the 2 boys, 1 is damn fat, the other is damn skinny la. ok, as the train started to move, the fat started to strip in the train. At first i didn't see anything but i saw seow's horrified look, then i turned my head and saw the fattie taking off his top, can see one of his nipples and the big fat rounded belly. DAMN OBSCENE. then realised that he actually wore a pokemon singlet inside, just that he was too stupid or he too fat la, when he taking the outer t-shirt off, he pulled his singlet off as well.

真是個笨孩子!!!! 難道他是個遲鈍兒??? 還是一個低能兒??? 不是, 我看一定是個自閉仔!!!!

Then the 2 boys started the normal nonsense on train. Running around, climbing the poles, jumping to grip the handle and so on..... Throughout the play, the fattie keep shouting at the MAX!!!! He kept saying he will show the skinny one how to do pull-up. When he jumped to grip the handle, he showed off his ugly belly to the public ONCE MORE!!!!! 罪過罪過!!!!

As he had a damn bloody fat ass, he could barely hang there for long. Then it was the skinny one 's turn to try. HAHA, guess what the fattie was doing???

HE FUCKING HELL SCRATCH HIS ASS-CRACK!!!!!!!! CHEE--------KEN.....

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

不要在我面前抓屁股洞!!!!!

Both seow and I totally stunned!!!!!

Then the kids carry on doing whatever they're doing on the train. And soon, the fattie came out with another surprise AGAIN by scratching his bloody COCK!!!

Wah, very erxin man!!!!

Then through the journey, he actually repeatedly keep scratching both his asshole and cock while playing. I guess he must be very uncomfortable and itchy, really feel like going up and tell him :

"嘿, 小朋友!!! 讓哥哥來教你, 隔著褲子抓癢一點都不止癢, 是嗎?? 不如脫了褲子抓吧, 总比隔着两层布来得舒服!!!!"

Hate erxin and non-cute kids man!!!! After a while, the fattie is too fat and feeling tired, stopping all his playing on train and started to disturb the little girl. And he used the very same hand he used to scratch his watever places to pull and play-around with the little girl's hair. 可怜的小女孩...

At Jurong East, Seow got off the train and i gotta to take to Boon Lay, so the seat besides me becaem empty. Wah at that time damn scared that the fattie will come and sit besides me. 真的非常害怕!!!! Lucky he didn't...

Sometimes I really don't understand why parents don't discipline their kids in a proper manner. They simply didn't teach them that it'll be irritating to run around in train, they didn't teach them that it's undesirable to scratch certain parts in public and so on. When your kids are making a fool out of themselves in the public, i think it'll bring ultra disgrace to you also.

So parents, PLEASE dun bring your kids out if you cant control them properly or worse you dun even intent to care about what they do outsides...

Change of Location for Xj's Bday Celeb

By the way... The location of my bday celeb has been changed...

to my house...

Blk 114, Bukit Purmei Road
#03-251
Singapore 090114

Please refer to http://xj-21st.blogspot.com for details on how to get there.. =D

Pple pls confirm if you are coming by this sunday... Need to plan food & stuff.. =D Thanks!!

Bad things happen in sequence... argh~

Got an email from sch today.. I'm officially off the double degree programme~ Dunno if I should be happy or sad...

Happy? Cos I don't need to squeeze all the courses together & I'll probably get better grades.. =) (Why I got kicked out? => I tried taking 5 courses this term, and then I got B- for finance & B+ for marketing, min req: A- for finance OR mktg for double degree) Maybe I should kill one of the profs... Haha~ =X

Sad? Cos it's rather disappointing for me to be kicked out of the programme..


You know what's the worst thing is?


Marketing (I took it cos it's required for the biz degree) is now an ADDITIONAL course that is TOTALLY USELESS for my acct degree.. means that I have taken a stupid course just to make myself more stressed~


So? I could have taken 4 courses this term & would STILL be in the programme if my finance was better.. and taking FOUR courses instead of FIVE will probably mean that my OTHER grades will be better as well! wt#$!%$#%#$%#$%!$#%!$#

Zining's present...

who wants to share Zining's present? contact me k? hahahahaha~ cannot be so obvious & say here la.. =P

Email: xangelicj@gmail.com
MSN: xm268410@singnet.com.sg (this email add is used for msn only)

or sms me la.. 96319709~


Oh ya~ location of my bday celebration may be changed to my house.. will update again once i get the details from my dad.. =P

My Birthday Wishlist

To make shopping easier for u guys and gals, the following are the Solvil et Titus watches which are at the top of my wishlist:

1) 06-0657-006 2) Model unknown 3) 06-0721-003 (in order of preference fr left to rt)

Additional information:

• Solvil et Titus watches can be bought from the concept store at Suntec City Mall (#02-090; Tropics zone) or any City Chain retail outlet.
• In case the above watches are unavailable, I'll still be delighted to receive other models/other brands' watches which have elongated (but not small) clock faces with light dial colours.

Since GSS is currently ongoing, of coz u all will get to enjoy discounts (more at the concept store i think) in the purchase...haha. I'll be more than happy to receive only this one gift from everyone of u :)

Other items to buy probably include bags, accessories, shopping vouchers...

@ j0b reVieW

It was hard getting a job as an NSF. Perm part time jobs need CPF contributions. Temp jobs require time commitment. I can offer none. Even Recruit Express rejected me, for being NSF.

With some luck I came across Oxford Certified Tutors. They offer me a work as a tuition agent, or coordinator to some. Basically I work like a self employed. Giving out flyers and source for records in my own time. However some cock up caused the flyers to delay, till it was almost sch holidays. That means the post exam tuition frenzy would have been snapped up. I tried slotting flyers into letter boxes, but this would not directly capture the market and response is poor.

I can't just sit around and do nothing and let $ flow out of pockets all the time. But then a trip in mid June and signing up for orientation camps came in my way now. I can't commit to a job for 1 month with such schedue. So my best chances lies with the World Book Fair, International Food Fair and PC Fair to be held in June.

Sadly, all this 3 fairs happened to cluster at the same time. With Book Fair held in Suntec Convention Hall and the other 2 fairs at EXPO. I 1st came across a lobang for book fair. I was lucky to grab it at an instant, without much thinking. Little would I know that the book fair would spans over 10 days, whereas the other 2 fairs were only 3-4 days.

I din know the work was going to be so fun. The job was found by my sis. We went for the interview, but only I got thru. The company was a math tuition center. The director wrote some maths manuals and was selling it at the book fair. I was hired as a promoter. We were given training but they were useless. Instead of training us sales, the perm staffs there trained us math... They seems to think that more knowledge in maths = more sales.

I still remember the last training I had. It was Yao Hui's Birthday then. I went for celebrations at Bang Zhi's house after training. We drank chivas and bombay sapphire that nite. We also watched Liverpool's great come back against AC Milan and won their 5th ECC. Basically, I din sleep that nite. Next morning, I just went off to Kembangan and report for work. It was a busy day. 1st I packed the books, then loaded the goods on lorry, unloaded the goods at expo and lastly set up the booth. All these done with 1 other guy. I nearly fell asleep at work, if not for frequent talking with that guy.

2 days of setting up the booth. I noticed it was my strength to do constructions and hands on work. Need labour next time, do call me. However, I really need to improve on selling skills. I'm not a good salesman. I can talk alot to customers, but my words dun seems to catch, or they simply can't understand me...... Sometimes I had to engage help to close deals.

During this 10 days, I got my pink IC. I saw Lee Kuan Yew walking past 10 feets b4 me, served a father who thought his pr 3 boy sec 3 physic laws, met pr sch kids who can solve tough JC qn, witnessed several unethical sales techniques, knew a middle aged couple working hand in hand to outplay the system & maximise commissions, spoke to teachers & principals of schools local & foreign, seen cutting edge technology for teaching kids and many more. I also signed up for12 months of National Geographic. It was an enriching work experience indeed. Monetary wise, I hit the set quota of average 1 sales/hr, hence qualified for a pay scheme of $8/hr. If my estimations are correct, I should recieve ~ $500 for the 8 days I worked.

I must say the best part of this work was getting to know some new friends. Some were my sis's classmates. 1 gal was in my 1st 3 month class b4. Many are current students of NUS, NTU & SMU. A few will join me this year. I'm glad the work environment was real friendly. There was little competition, and more co-operations. We all cheated the system by handing excess sales to collegues so more of us can hit quota and get $8/hr. Some of them prepared me for orientation nonsences. Best of all, we even go for buffet dinner and bbq after the 10 days work. Amazing group of collegues.

July - the MOST HAPPENING month of the year!

Hey gals and guys!

4E's cancerianz' birthdays are coming :)

As shown under 'annoucements' already, my party will be held at my humble house for the sake of convenience and feeling of homeliness (haha...as desired by cancerianz) on 2 July (sat) which is juz a day b4 xj's.

Btw, my house is available for stayover if any of u wanna bring mahjong n mahjong table over...haha. U all discuss and tell me in advance... At the moment, my house only has cards, playstation and scv... Additional stuff would be brought at your expense...haha

Apart from bus services 61 and 852, those guys who have been to hanfeng's/weiming's house will have known that available buses also include 157, 174, 66 and 178.

So what are you waiting for? Join in the fun and ur presence will be very much appreciated!

Yeah, Mum's Back!!!!!

After some secret planning with my sis earlier in the year, we decided to sent our mother back to Hong Kong alone as we see no point in going back at this time of the year!!!! So we sent her off on the 1st June, which was last wednesday.

So today she was supposed to come backt o Singapore and my sis and I were supposed to fetch her home la!!! HAHA. Her flight was schelduled to touch-down at 1225. But then 我們兩個不孝子 sleep until 11+ then woke up. Then we anyhow washed-up a bit and then rushed out to the airport by MRT la. Cab too ex liao.

HAHA, then suay suay her flight reached Singapore early. Touch down at 1155. When she was out at the arrival hall, of course we were still on our way la!!!! Then as those who know my mum would know that she was the blur blur type. So she sat at the arrival hall waiting for her 阿女 & 細佬 (the way my mum call my sis and me). Waited for almost 1/2 an hour liao then she went to call us!!! Then at that time we were only still at Bedok haha, so she waited for another 15+min.

我們真是沒誠意, 接飛機還要下飛機的人等.... Anyway we reached the Terminal 1 Arrival Hall that time my mum saw us then she cried liao!!! She said very long time didn't see us then see us again very 感動.... Ah bish.....

Then we had lunch at the airport there, then she told us about her trip la!! And our relatives from HK bought a lot of stuff for us, but majority are for my sis. haiz.... me and my sis really quite asshole, our relatives quite 疼 us one. but we think it's to troublesome to go back and entertain them so we decided not to go back. hmm..... HAHA, got the <<大長今>> DVD also. So happy. Yaohui i can lend you after i finish watching. Damn a lot of things to eat!!!

Another thing is that my uncle (my father's younger brother), compiled quite a lot of our photos, those taken more than 10+ years back with all our cousins in Hong Kong, all our childhood photos made into a DVD and add in some very 感人 songs. WAH seh, reached home already watched that till damn 感人, 一把眼淚一把鼻涕...

Ya, but the best part is that my mum is back!!! SO happy!!!! So the household-chore wont be piled up and bla bla bla bla!! These few days our house was really in a bloody mess man!!!! 媽媽終於回來了. Ok la, so to end this, just post a photo of my mother's blur blur look on the blog. HAHA!!! I think she looks damn cute leh!!! hair so messy. HAHA



Song for Today : 童年 by 羅大佑

Current Mood : Damn Happy cos Mum is back!!!!

Birthday Invitation!!

Dear friends,

you are cordially invited to my bday celebration!

Date: 3rd July 2005 (Sunday) @ Downtown East Chalet Unit A1110
Time: 6pm till late

For more details (and help), please go to: http://xj-21st.blogspot.com

RSVP by 19 June ok? Thanks!!!

Cheers!!!!
Xj

The Circus Action

Recently, a group comprising of 5 guys called Circus kept appearing in Taiwanese variety shows, eg “超级两代电力公司”. Circus' members are 屌 in the sense that 他们真得很有种. Onlookers will definitely be amused by their crazy yet cool ideas. Examples of their creative masterpieces include Ice Man (using a member's head as bowl to put 水果刨冰 and let passers-by eat that dessert), 裸奔少年 (self-explantory)， 连体婴 (using superglue to stick body parts)，Circus下午茶 (substituting tadpoles as pearls in 珍珠奶茶) etc... They will film their wacky acts and post them on their website which has attracted quite some public attention. Should go and watch...really very funny...haha!

I dunno what i m thinking about right now...

一天，魔王把公主抓走， 公主一直叫。。。
魔王: 你就算叫破喉咙吧！没有人会来救你的！
公主：破喉咙~！ 破喉咙~！
没有人： 公主！ 我来救你了
魔王：说曹操， 曹操就到。。。
曹操：魔王！ 你叫我干嘛？
魔王：哇！ (kua dio gui)看到鬼！
鬼：靠！被发现了！
靠：胡说！ 谁发现了我呀？
谁：又关我屁事！
魔王：oh my god!
上帝：谁叫我？
谁：我没呀！ 没有人叫你。。。
没有人：我那有啊！
因此， 魔王精神分裂。。。

the above is a random post...there are no TWO MEANINGS to it( regulars to the msn chatrm will understand what it means)...yah and below is a picture of what happened on april 3rd 2004...

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/hongmonk/commsparade017.jpg

Commandment of the day: Thou will not be playing soccer on saturday from yesterday onwards...

Current Song: Qing Ren by Dao Lang

Ridiculously tough Pr. Sch MAth Qns

Hi everybody. Recently I've been working at the World Book Fair'05 for the past week, under the company of Math Teach. This is a company with 30+ yrs of history tutoring maths, in a bungalow turned tuition center along Frankel Drive. (somewhere at Kembangan) For this book fair the director has came out with a series of Primary School Math Manuals, featuring challenging problem sums and very detailed worked solutions. My job is to promote this manuals to parents, educators and earn my commission. Quite a nice job, though my sales may not be fantastic.

I've browsed thru the manuals. They're indeed brilliant Mathematics guides for Pr Sch students, written from the author's 30+ yrs of experience in tutoring. For those with brothers & sisters studying Pr Sch and have problems with scoring can come down take a look b4 considering tuition. Its more worthwhile.

The promoters hired are mainly undergrads having holiday and unemployed like me. At work, the author like to flash Exam Qns brought in by parents on a projector screen. Some of these Qns were shockingly difficult, so much so that the undergrads in Engineering, Majors in Maths working with me also can't help scratching their heads. I hereby post 3 of the more difficult Qns to my friends out here, who might still have an interest in challenging math Qns.

Q1.
100 students sits in a circle. A teacher gave out sweets to alternate students, starting from student 1. She continue to give out the sweets until every student has a sweet. Which is the last student to get the sweet?

This Qn comes from Kwang Hua Pr. Sch, Pr4 streaming exam. The whole school only has 1 student got it right... and I suppose he did it by brute force calculations

I solved by multiples, but can't get the ans. My answer was 64. My friends wrote out the numbers, cancelled number by number and found the answer to be 72.

Q2.
There are 100 pple in a room. If each person shoke hands with all others in the room once, how many handshakes were there altogether?

This Qn came from another sch in the East, I think is Tao Nan Pr Sch. Less tough but damn ridiculous, using a JC Qn for their Pr Sch exams. Wonder what they're expecting from their students...

I was glad I was ythe fastest to solve it, even faster than the undergrads... yeah! I got the ans by finding the increment in handshakes from 2 pple to 5 pple, and then work out the number pattern. A better method I saw from an electrical engineer undergrad would be to use AP, GP formula... something I've forgotten after JC. The ans we got was 4950 handshakes.

Q3.
I have a nunber.
When I divide the number by 9, the remainder is 8.
When I divide the number by 8, the remainder is 7.
When I divide the number by 7, the remainder is 6.
When I divide the number by 6, the remainder is 5.
When I divide the number by 5, the remainder is 4.
When I divide the number by 4, the remainder is 3.
When I divide the number by 3, the remainder is 2.
When I divide the number by 2, the remainder is 1.
What is the smallest posssible number I have?

This is the most er xin Pr Sch exam Qn I've ever seen. If I took the exam I would just give up the 5 marks right away. This is an equivalent of Australian Maths competition at Sec Sch Level, how can a sch be so unkind to set it for kids <12>

10 out of 11 of the promoters had a min of GCE A' Levels certs. 7 are undergrads in fields like acc, EE and major in Maths. None got it right. Only an acc undergrad got close.She got a number that suits all the criteria but she did not get the smallest possible number. What she did was (5x6x7x8x9)-1 = 15119. Her approach was correct. I analysed the Qn at home. (2x3x4x5x6x7x8x9)-1 will gives an answer that satisfy the criterias but will not be the samllest possible number. 2,4 are factors of 8 so can be neglected. 3 is a factor of 9 so can be neglected. 6 can be split into its component factors 2 & 3, so 6 should be neglected as well since 2 & 3 are factors of 8 & 9 respectively. Hence ans: (5x7x8x9)-1 = 2519.

Arn't they difficult? My boss had the Qns posted out forPr Sch students to try. Prizes can be won if anyone got all 3 Qns answered correctly. I thought its crap. Amazingly, a Pr Sch guy did got all 3 Qns answered correctly. I din see him but I think he's a gifted progamme student or an Indian genius who came to the booth. Pr Sch man!!! What brand of milk his mother fed him.

After seeing these 3 Qns and many more other different Pr Sch Qns brought up by parents and students themselves, I really dunno what Pr Schools are becoming these days. Their kiasu-ness is really outrageous or are children getting cleverer... Makes me feel glad that PSLE was over for me and ponder over what my children will be studying in future...

Funny Incident

Today is a happy day coz i went home at 5 instead of the usual 5.30. At that time, I was supposed to follow my colleagues to a client's place to 'deposit' our laptops and print some documents... By the time we reach client's office at Kallang, it would be almost 5.30. My seniors know I will lugi since I can't claim any OT so they are kind enough to let me off early... haha

When I boarded the MRT train home, I saw an empty seat among the 2-seaters. My legs were tired...Of coz I wanna sit. At the same time, I heard this Chinese female passenger (A) who was standing in front of that empty seat saying to her friend (B), "你坐..." Then her friend replied, "不，你坐. 你比较迟下MRT..." Both of them were so 客套 that they repeated their lines for a couple of times. Guess those people ard them must be wanting to sit down too... just that they were kinda blocked by A. Thinking that this would be never-ending, I just walked around one of them and solved their problem by sitting down. Woah! Instantly, A＆B stopped their conversation and looked (stared) at me. Bet they must be cursing me in their minds and regretted saying so much 废话, otherwise 1 of them would be sitting already. But I couldn't be bothered. Come to think of it, my action is kinda mean. By right, I should have asked A & B if they wanna sit b4 I sit down just like that hor? Instead I feigned ignorance n took a nap throughout the journey...haha

The funny part was when I reached JE station, both A ＆ B were still on the train, standing in front of me. When I stood up from my seat, A ＆B started their 客套-ing again...but this time, they grew smart - they juz said their previous lines once and 1 of them immediately sat down... *LOL* I couldn't help but chuckle when I alighted that train.

I'll leave u guys to figure out the moral of the above story ;)

ORD LOH!!!!

Finally, the day has arrived for me to claim back my pink I.C from my chief clerk...it has been screaming at me for help for 2 yrs 2 mths liao and yet i can only rescue him from the evil clutches of The Empire only now...haiz...I'm so sorry, Pink I.C...forgive me ok? So much have happened and I got so much to tell you since the day you and me got separated... *sobz sobz* but now that you are rescued, let me tell you what ordeals I have been through and i hope that when you have finished listening to me, you will help to spread the words to all your Pink Brothers out there and ask them to rise up against the evil empire and from then on you, Count Cooku and me, Lord Ovaltine shall help to liberate those under 18yrs old out there....

Pink I.C aka Pinky: But i dun wanna be Count Cooku..its sound so erotic...eeee!!!

Me: Ok wat, sounds ok to me leh, quite attention seeking...aiyah its lidat one lah...must have sexy name to attract people to listen to you...

Pinky: hmm...ok loh..watever you say..eh so wat happened since the day we got separated?

Me: wah...a lot loh...i went through 3 mths of basic military training, 2 mths of basic section leader course, 8 mths of officer cadet school and 1 yr of being an officer...yah...

Pinky: wah...officer ah..siao siao leh...officer very gd rite, high pay, got power can tekan people...i also want to be officer next time loh...

Me: haha...how come everybody think lidat one huh...u think officer very good meh...got high pay also got more responsibilities...most of the time if got problems, either you solve it or kanna become scapegoat and sign extras and officer do not abuse power one loh...dun anyhow say hor, if you anyhow say u go and knock it down 50, understand anot...
(oops, forgot that pinky dun have hands to do push-ups, but nvm lah)

Pinky: okok sir, dun say...relax...so what is the most fun thing during your NS?

Me: hmm....i think its the overseas training in taiwan...weather is good...food is good and the places there are much interesting than singapore....well and also the commissioning parade(if i have one lah)

Pinky: then what is the most fucked up thing about NS?

Me: suprised! suprised! when i am an officer loh...y? well because the unit i'm being posted to is quite screwed up lah...life there as an officer no different than being a man lah...haiz.....sad sad

Pinky: aiyah dun be sad lah...at least you now have me by your side liao rite? dun be sad loh....at night i give you something special lah...

Me: eh...CCB!!! wat you talking? i'm a straight guy hor, both in thinking, morals, attitudes and other things( eh guys out there dun think dirty), so dun try anything special with me tonight otherwise i screwed you upside down then you now...

Pinky: nah, you still say u straight, you just say u wanna screwed me loh....stil pretend....

Me: ahh!!!!!!!!! i'm going to kill you...come back, dun run...you sick bast**d...@#%%#^%#&^&*^&

Commandment of the Day: Thou shall not hold a rifle for 4 years starting from today

Current Song: Disease by Matchbox 20

Wah, Damn Shiok MAN!!!!!

At around 5+pm today, finished the driving lesson at BBDC and took bus 187 then changed 198 home.

Oh ya, before saying what happened on the 198, yesterday when i was taking bus 99 home at around 2+pm, guessed who i saw??? HAHA, I saw Mr Sylvester Sim sitting at the back of the bus. I found this guy look damn familiar, a bit like Sylvester, but not very sure. But i confirmed it's him after i saw the tattoo on his right arm. He really looked like a super ah beng man. Even more ah beng than he was on TV. anyway the bus was full of aunties and a few Malay kids running about. No one actually recognised him, and he sat alone in the bus, got off at the bus-stop where Jiamin's house is. Think i should go up to him and tell him his 祥龍十八掌 is very nice though i never heard it b4!!! LAME....

ok, back to bus 198 at 5+pm today. The bus was quite empty and i chose a seat at the upper deck. At the Jurong Sports Complex bus-stop, a mother with ehr 2 kids board the bus. The older one is a boy around pri 1 or 2, the younger one is a girl probably K2. Their hair looked abit wet and the mother was holding a floating board so i think probably they were going home after an afternoon in the swimming pool.

As I was damn boliao in the bus, i always 偷听 what other people were talking about. Anyway that little boy talked quite loud la, so i'm not actually eavedropping.

Below is what the ugly STUPID ASSHOLE KNN BOY SAID to his sis :

"哈哈哈, 我已经会游泳了!!! 我不用别人抓住我的手, 我可以自己游了. 不用那个板了. 你真没用, 学这么久还不会. 这么大了还怕水!! Ne NE NI BU BU~~~~ 不会游泳真没用!!!!"

That boy was going non-stop about how great his swimming is. Actually i have nothing against him 嚣张-ing about his swimming talent. But he kept on saying his sis lousy dunno how to swim. Timd, uses all type of negative words he had learnt to insult people who dunno how to swim that made me mad!!! PISSED OFF BY LITTLE BOYS!!!!!

KNN son of a B***H!!!! huh, you got problem with people not knowing how to swim issit?? you think you very smart very lihai issit?? What so great about swimming??? What so bad about not knowing how to swim?? You f*c*er!!!! If your mother not around i sure kick your ass one!!! But then i cannot do so since their mother is around. I'm also amazed that his mother didn't try to stop his nonsense in the bus.

So as usual as i'm irritated!!! I gave him the deadly stare that i learnt from my sis!!! I just kept staring at him since he sat diaginally in front of me and facing back(which is facing me la) as he needa talk to his sis. As he is quite young, I think he was scared of me when he was in eye-contact with me. Then he suddenly became very quite. Sit straight upright facing the front. Dare not look back and at the same time shut his filthy mouth.

WAH DAMN SHIOK!!!! 我最喜欢跟小孩子一般见识!!!! Especially making them scared of you. HAHAHAHA SHIOK SHIOK SHIOK!!! Sibei Song!!!

Little Kids out there!!! Dun try to irritate me man!!!!

Song of the Day : I Get A Kick Out Of You by Frank Sinatra

Current Mood : 爽, 超級無敵爽!!!!!